Again, I haven't felt I have much to say of late, which makes me feel ungrateful for the recovery process. I am grateful for the recovery process, but I am often a man of few words.
Today, I'm grateful for the strength the Lord has granted me in response to my doubled efforts to overcome my sins.
A lot of the time, addicts feel the Lord will suddenly reach out and fix us because we're hurting a lot or have been suffering for a long time. I've learned the hard way this is not true. The Lord yearns for us to be fixed by Him, but he doesn't fix us until we have exerted our faculties of intelligence, love, humility, and new knowledge until we can manage ourselves. Once we can manage ourselves and stay clean, the Lord's power can wipe away our tears and make us new creatures. We cease to desire evil.
This takes a lot of work. First of all, we have to even know what addicts can do to stop acting out. Our society doesn't help people with that. Generally, we're in the dark and don't know what can be done. We are, sadly, left to believe it's up to our puny wills to conquer our huge problems. Not going to happen.
After thirteen+ years of struggling with addiction, the Lord has lead me to the point where I can't take my addiction anymore. I have no excuses anymore. Once I got to that point, the Lord blessed me with the knowledge I need to manage my addiction and become sober. I believe He waited to bless me with this knowledge so that I wouldn't be condemned further for having that knowledge and not being ready to act on it. We are judged more severely for rebelling against the greater light. I am grateful that God waited until I was ready to accept help from Him.
I urge you to read "Perfect Liberty I Manual" at this location:
http://addictionrecoverylds.blogspot.com/
It was written by a psychologist who works for the LDS church's Family Services. He understands how people can overcome addictions. His insights and exercises are saving my bacon.
I agree with what you've said that the Lord will fix us if, and only if, we have tried our very best to manage ourselves, or at least accept the gravity of the situation that we're in. I'm married to a porn addict (he's under the GreatnessAhead program) and we still have a very long way to go (he occasionally slips) but I've proven that when he gets the determination to change, alongside my full support as his wife, the Lord's hands incredibly moves in so many ways.
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